Dad of 10: Stranger Danger!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Stranger Danger!

In 100 Words Or Less

Lisa and I taught six-year-old Zach to not talk to strangers, and he took this teaching to heart. Woody, a trusted seventy-something-year-old neighbor, was talking to Zach one day. Woody asked Zach what his name was. Zach, mindful of our admonition, but not wanting to appear rude with a flat refusal, replied, "I don't know!" and ran home.

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The Reluctant Helper

In 100 Words or Less Luke did not want to help put the toys away at preschool, and told his teacher Miss Alyssa so - very emphatically. Miss Alyssa relayed the exchange to Lisa when she picked up Luke later that day. Lisa asked Luke about it, and he denied refusing to clean up. Lisa persisted, and Luke finally exclaimed, "You can't hear me way over here!" - meaning while he was at preschool. Lisa told him that she hears everything. Luke gave Lisa his squinty-eyed look and processed the information - he is always thinking.

Too Much Disney Channel

In 100 Words or Less

Many Disney television programs feature "cool" kids and oblivious parents. Preteens, especially, internalize this dynamic. Mimicking their Disney heroes means my preteens' behavior does not always meet my expectations. I accept the occasional struggle, though, since I do allow some Disney watching.

Recently, my twenty-three-year-old son was talking to my six-year-old. Zach - do you want me to take you to the zoo? Sam - Why? Zach - To see the animals. Sam - That's what tv is for. Zach - Are you kidding me? Sam (grinning) - Sarcasm!

I'd never even heard the word "sarcasm" when I was six.

I Know I Am Getting Older, But . . .

In 100 Words or Less

"Me gotta go potty!" three-year-old Daniel shouts. We are eating at Bob Evans. I get up immediately. With Daniel, you have about 17 seconds to get where he needs to be. We make it in time and finish our meal.

I grab a dessert menu and reach into my shirt pocket for my glasses. Nothing. I look everywhere. I ask if anyone has seen them. Daniel proclaims, "Here they are!" I ask where he found them. Laughing, he points to his bottom. They fell out of my pocket and into his underwear when I pulled up his pants.

In 100 Words Or Less

Andrew The Rock Star

Five-year-old Matthew always admired his ten-year-old brother Andrew. If Andrew wore a Buckeye jersey, so did Matthew. Ask Matthew what he wanted for breakfast and he would reply, "What did Andrew have?"

One evening, this admiration became near veneration. On the way home from football practice, Andrew pulled a loose tooth. At home, Andrew showed Matthew the pulled tooth, and the resulting blood on his jersey. But Andrew wasn't done - he had another loose tooth - and he yanked it out right in front of a wide-eyed Matthew.